Chasing the Sun [Silas]

[Zephyr]

“Funny.” Silas says with a truly amused grin stretching out over his face as Zander’s game goes downhill. “That doesn’t exactly sound like an insult to me.” The doctor’s grin is nothing short of lecherous as he flashes Zander a look before letting it fall back into supreme amusement, settling back against the back of the couch to watch the other man play with a smile. He’d actually been enjoying watching Zander play while he’d been doing good. Silas sucked at the game so badly that it had been nice seeing how it’s done.

…until the werewolf had gotten abruptly awful. Then it was still fun to watch, if only because he could make the other man’s life miserable with jeers and taunts.

When Zander shoves the controller back at him, Silas doubles over in laughter at the other man. “Yeah.” He manages to get out between amused wheezes. “Wanna show me how it’s done again, asshole? I’m sure that “cock-fucking-sucker”…” And he says the words with an exaggerated waggle of his eyebrows. “Is just waiting in the lobby to make you his bitch again.” His grin is playful as he takes the controller and settles back against the couch again, scrolling through the weapons as he waits for the next game to begin.

There is no fucking way Silas can keep his eyes from flickering at the tease of skin as Zander pulls his hoodie off. The doctor’s eyes follow the long line of the werewolf’s body for a moment, completely lost in it for a moment when he hears the distinctive sound of someone shooting his character through the head. Blushing, Silas jerks his gaze away and returns it to the game.

He’s so fucking distracted by the thought of Zander’s body that he cannot keep himself alive for the life of him. He gets shot left and right and his face is so full of heat – not all of it because he’s frustrated or angry – that he’s almost trembling. The surgeon pours all of his focus into the game though. While this doesn’t make him any better, it does distract him enough that he doesn’t tense up when Zander flings his arm around his shoulder. “Fucking bitch!” Silas snarls when he’s shot by the same goddamn camper for the fifth time. You’d think he wouldn’t walk right into the asshole’s trap after that.

But he does, over and over again…and no amount of frustration over a video game can take his mind off the feeling of Zander’s lips on the side of his head. There is no denying the shiver that goes up his spine, or the bright red blush that flushes under his skin and he hesitates for only a second, adding yet another kill to his impressive kill count.

His playing deteriorates from there as he tries to think of what he should do. The wolf is completely on board with all this affection and it’s probably the beast that keeps Silas from pulling away completely. Because, while this is what Silas had been expecting this entire time, the transition from playful banter to kisses against his ear is all too abrupt for him to comprehend.

With the wolf pushing at him from one end, and his deaths steadily mounting up, Silas comes to the – very wise – conclusion that he cannot fucking play a goddamn video game with someone kissing him, and he turns his face to snarl halfheartedly at Zander but just freezes in the process, staring at the other man for a long moment.

And, in a move of true impulsiveness, he leans forward and presses their lips together. Silas drops the controller, forgotten, to the floor and leans forward into the kiss, bringing a hand up to wind his fingers through the other wolf’s hair while the other rests steadily on his hip.

He doesn’t stop to think about what going from playing a bloody video game to making out over said bloody video game probably says about him.

He isn’t sure he’d like it at all.

[Zander Burke]

Zander could clearly hear what was happening on screen -- as well as feel Silas tense every time he was killed. While his wolf could finally enjoy smothering the other wolf, Zander was almost completely losing himself in it. The strain of holding back was almost completely gone as he almost forgot about the game Silas was playing. As he had planted more kissed on the side of Silas' head, the more he forgot about just doing this for fun, to see Silas fuck up. Zander was not a sexual guy, sure he loved to flirt, tease and joke around. It was rare for him to actually lose himself in anything.

The moment Silas pulls away (or turns his face). There was a moment of clarity, where Zander asked himself what he was doing, where was this going to lead? In that moment he struggled to reign his wolf back in. Force the wolf to heel so Zander could have a moment to think to breath. That moment when Silas was fixing his nose a while ago... when he felt his wolf pull against his will. Was the most uncomfortable thing he has felt from this whole 'cursed' situation. That small moment before Silas' lips crashed against his he almost had full control again. But as soon as the other man's lips were on his...he was lost again.

The playful curious, excited wolf that wanted to greet Silas as he came in, changed. As the wolf grew more dominant, the harder Zander pushed. Zander brought one hand up to Silas' chest to push the other man down against the arm of the chair. Zander never jumped right into sex, he tied too many feelings with sex and it just complicated things for him. Call him old fashioned, or traditional in a small sense -- he believed that sex should come when feelings were acknowledged... when you actually cared for the other.

If Silas fought him, Zander would only be more persistent, until the other man was successfully under him. The kiss would have turned into something more, if Silas allowed Zander to slip tongue into the other wolf's mouth. But as soon as Silas was down, his wolf pulled away, to bask for a moment in its victory. In that small moment, Zander's eyes widened suddenly pulling away from Silas, hand on the other man's chest as he sat back -- panting. "Shhhhiit" he stated one hand still on Silas' chest gripping the other man's shirt while the other was on his own forehead.

His body trembled, and his wolf who was not happy with being interrupted was once again pushing, there was a split second where it felt like the wolf was going to force itself out... but it didn't. This time Zander took hold and pushed him down, slowly Zander released Silas' shirt. Apologetic eyes shifted to the other wolf, "Fuck... i'm... sorry Silas." he stated, " I don't know, what. I didn't." he paused taking a shaky breath, forcing a bit of a smile. "I don't usually move this fast, heh." he said, the smile coming a little easier now, reaching his eyes. If Silas looked angry, frustrated or confused, "I don't know what that was. Its not that I didn't like it!" he would try and explain, "That wasn't... ah fuck I have no idea. Please tell me i'm the biggest asshole, ever." he would say with a slight smirk, the trembling had reduced, the feral look in his eyes would have completely faded. He was still a little shaken at losing control like that. He has been a wolf for more than seven years, and he has only lost control once... when he was still new.

[Zephyr]

It’s a fact that relationships between guys come with a lot of push and pull. Males are by nature dominant creatures, and being mixed with the instincts of wolves does not lessen these feelings. If anything, they are increased tenfold. When Zander gets into the kiss, Silas curves a grin against the other wolf’s mouth. A growl comes, rumbling against skin as he feels Zander pushing him down. And yeah, Silas fights against it at first, his wolf unwilling to let another beast put it on its back, but it’s never been a terribly dominant beast by nature, and in the end it acquiesces, allowing the other wolf to push it back against the couch.

Another growl ripples into Zander’s mouth as the other man comes directly over Silas and he lets his hands fist into the other man’s shirt and hair, opening his mouth eagerly as Zander licks into it. Without thinking too much about it, he bucks his hips up into Zander’s, and the wolf is very interested in the way things are going.

Until Zander pulls the fuck away.

Silas is left panting under the other man, one hand still fisted tight in the wolf’s shirt, even if the other one falls away. He’s a little dazed and still not completely all there when Zander speaks, so his apology doesn’t register at first. When it does, Silas’ brows furrow and he lets out a growl and an indignant huff of air. “Stop apologizing you shit. I’m the one who kissed you, remember?” The mood might be ruined by Zander’s misplaced apologies, but Silas has gotten too comfortable to let it get awkward again.

“Just stop, okay?” He fixes Zander with a pointed look, pulling himself out from under Zander. “You didn’t hear me fucking complaining, did you?” He seats himself more properly on the couch, running a hand through his hair and trying to still the rapid-fire beating of his heart, and trying to quell the thought of how much he fucking loved being under the other wolf. “Stop babbling.” He snaps halfheartedly, glaring, “Babbling is not adorable.” Even though lies…babbling is totally endearing.

“Just…you aren’t an asshole, alright?” Silas sighs, looking over at Zander. “I’m the one who initiated the kiss, and I liked it. If anything, I’m the goddamn asshole. He swipes his tongue over his lips, snorting lightly. “I shouldn’t have done that if I didn’t know if it’d make you uncomfortable or not.” Even though the way he kissed back didn’t seem uncomfortable at all.

He’d been totally into it.

“Sorry.” He mutters. “Can pretend it didn’t even happen if you want.” That isn’t something he particularly wants to happen, but he doesn’t want things to stay awkward and weird, either. “If you aren’t into me…or this.” He explains, waving a hand to indicate this relationship or whatever the fuck they have is. “Or I can just leave if the kissing thing was too weird for you.” Now he looks steadily at Zander, his glance almost challenging.

Finally, he settles back on the cough, willing his heart to still and his breath to even out...and his fucking boner to go away, thanks. Why the hell would Zander want anything to do with him? He's a fucking broken man. "What do you wanna do now?" He asks, trying to keep his voice casual and failing as he leans over to grab the controller.

[Zander Burke]

Zander realizing he was still sort of on top of Silas, he shifted allowing Silas to get out from under him. His wolf growled in protest, but other than that he was back under control (albeit not too happy). Silas was...not happy at Zander attempting to apologize to him. This caused Zander to mentally groan, he wasn't normally a little bitch and he didn't like that feeling at all. It was when Silas told him to stop babbling with the 'adorable' comment is when Zander pushed himself out of his mental kicking, "babbling is totally adorable. I don't know what you've been smoking." he replied, shifting into a more comfortable seated position, head back against the back of the couch.

That small comfort didn't last long, because with Silas' next words the man sat up straighter his gaze jerking back to Silas, a little incredulous. He opened his mouth to say something, but Silas kept going. Oh my fuck this wasn't what he meant at all. After Silas was done his little lecture Zander's expression was a mixture of oh my god no, and amused. "Listen asshole, don't tell me to stop babbling and apologizing when you turn around to do the same fucking thing." he snipped, with a bit of a playful tone. Zander shifted on the couch again one leg and foot on the couch so he could completely face Silas.

"Look. This whole... fucking thing wasn't you at all. At all." expression would grow serious to make sure he got his point across before continuing. "It was nothing about feeling fucking uncomfortable, or me not wanting to do this. Because I totally fucking do, and I liked it a lot." Zander's point of holding Silas eyes and attention fell for a moment as he brushed his hands through his hair, hesitating. "I'm going to be honest. I don't know if there is a fucking taboo on talking about this shit... but I'm going to anyway." he then forced his eyes to focus on Silas, his cheeks probably tinging red.

"You are the first..." he sighed pausing, clearly looking like he wanted to shoot himself, "... werewolf, I have met... ever." he finished finally. "I'd like to think I had all the fucking control... and I do. But as soon as I'm around you, it fucking goes wild -- and it feels like I have to fucking completely focus on it so nothing happens." Zander's hands fidgeted, drumming on his own knee. "So, fuck I apologize if I'm new with this whole fucking... I don't know... wolf thing? It used to just be satisfied with me fucking people's shit up at bars. Clearly I don't fucking know anything about what it needs." he said

"But, I want you here. With me." he admitted finally, his features soft, if a little embarrassed. "I... heh call me old fucking fashioned. Also I'm not the kind of guy that just. Fucks a guy on a first... date." he stated with a bit of a shrug and a sheepish smile. "I guess to fucking summarize, nothing was your fault. I almost lost control. I'm good now. I like you, a lot. I still want you here, I still want you with me. " there was a pause, where his playful smirk crawled back to his lips, "and I totally don't mind if you kiss me again. Unless you want to go co-op so I can kick your ass in game." he grinned mischievously, feeling a lot better after getting all that bull shit off his chest. He's not completely a feely feelings guy, but when it needs to happen.. he's awkward but he can get it off his chest if it has to.

[Zephyr]

It isn’t like Silas is expecting to be reamed out for apologizing, because unlike Zander, he hat totally legitimate reasons for apologizing. The other wolf really…didn’t. The glare he levels at Zander is searing, but there’s amusement in his eyes, too…because this? It is so fucking weird and surreal and Silas can’t even believe it’s happening.

But in no way is it bad?

The surgeon’s stomach flips a little at the thought of Zander actually liking the kiss, but it brings up another aspect on which he’s thoroughly confused. If he fucking liked it, then why would he fight it? Surprisingly though, Silas keeps his mouth shut about the whole thing and just settles back against the arm of the couch. He is content, at the moment, to just listen to Zander talk.

His eyes narrow, brows drawing together when he says that Silas is the first werewolf he’s ever met. Wow. Fate has a funny sense of humor, the fucking bitch. It’s hilarious that the first werewolf the guy’s ever met is such a goddamn failure at it in so many ways. He imagines Zander’s disgust about how Silas spends his full moons. This thought isn’t expressed though, since Zander is still talking and Silas doesn’t think it’s a terribly nice move to interrupt the other man right yet.

As he keeps talking though, the surgeon recognizes a feeling that settles heavily and ominously in the pit of his stomach.

Guilt.

It weighs him down and chokes off his air, and for a moment, all he can do is listen to Zander’s words. He can’t be pleased that the other werewolf likes him, even if he is. He can’t feel smug that Zander likes his kissing. All he can feel for a few, breathless minutes is guilt pushing him down from all sides and a little voice in his head that screams that Zander deserves better than Silas.

Better than someone who will always love someone else…probably until he dies, however soon that might be.

But Silas still likes Zander. Probably more than is strictly good for someone pining after someone else. As Zander finishes, Silas grows quiet and contemplative. He reaches out to grab the other man’s hand, turns it over and starts to trace the lines of his palm in silence for a moment. “I like you too. Silas growls, his voice soft, and he doesn’t look up at the other man. “Probably a lot more than I should. And…I really want to see where this goes. I just…” And words aren’t usually hard for Silas to find, and when they are, he usually just abstains from speaking altogether. “There’s just something you should know.”

And he feels like a fucking girl, okay? He isn’t touchy feely…at least, if he can help it. He’s grouchy and prickly and a fucking asshole…but he’s seriously retarded when it comes to feelings. “I’m in love with someone. Like…a fucking lot. I love him and he doesn’t care…doesn’t love me back…I don’t even know…but it hurts.” He licks his lips, looking confused for a moment. “Doesn’t mean I like you any less, or that I’m using you or anything, and I was serious as a fucking cerebral hemorrhage before. I want to see where this goes. I just want you to know what you’ll be getting into here. I will be stupid around him and I will be weak, and I’ll probably give in.”

Silas sighs, letting go of Zander’s hand and finally looking up at him. “So, knowing that there is someone I’ll probably never be able to let go of, It’ll be totally fine if you can’t do this with me.” He doesn’t know if this is part of moving on or not. Silas doesn’t want to ‘move on’. It sounds so final, and Silas doesn’t know if he’d be okay without Matthias in his life, but maybe it’s better this way.

[Zander Burke]

Silas was patient, which was nice... since it allowed Zander to get everything he needed to say said. That was all he needed at the moment -- although he could see Silas' expressions the whole time he was talking and in all honesty he thought Silas was going to call 'bullshit' and just leave. Although it felt sort of unlikely he couldn't help but think that was a possibility. He supposed it was a vulnerability thing when you spill out shit that's used to just being bottling up. Zander didn't really have anyone to talk this shit over with, and in many cases he blows off all frustration by pissing people off in the bar. Hah and Zander judged the way Silas dealt with shit when they first met.

Silas was quiet, afterwards, and Zander pretty much had to hold his breath. Had he just made everything awkward again? He wouldn't be surprised seeing as he pretty much told Silas he wanted to be with him. That line Zander was toeing earlier that day? Well he just made an Evil Knievel fucking leap over that delicate line between friends and something more, also almost losing fucking control no more than three minutes ago... and then admitting to the other man that he was pretty much a fucking puppy 'for lack of better words'.

The werewolf was silent, patient, watching Silas for any expression to tell him what the other wolf was thinking. It was when Silas reached out for Zander's hand when he was shaken out of his thoughts. He allowed the other man to take it, although there was a wary expression in Zander's eyes. Its completely normal for someone who leaped over that fragile little line. Especially when the receiver of those words was still very pensive. The hand holding was a good sign, but he still was apprehensive. The first words to tumble out of Silas' mouth weren't what he was fearing at all, in fact it was great to hear those words back. His hopes raised slightly, but Zander pushed them down... since there was the whole 'there's something you should know' tacked on the end.

As he listened, although his expression was neutral... he felt it still managed to fall a bit. Zander looked down, and stared at their hands. Although the evening he spent with Matthias was... a little blurry, he didn't forget the way Mattie snugged himself tight with Silas, as soon as the other man walked through the door. Or the fact that, Matthias was already there when Zander showed up. So all in all he tagged and assumed that Mattie was the reason behind everything. This assumption was based on the fact that Matthias was the only one of Silas' friends he knew. It wasn't until Silas said 'serious as a cerebral hemorrhage', that Zander cracked a smile, with a small snort -- even though he really shouldn't be laughing at that... at all, he guessed it was just the way it was used.

Silas let go of Zander's hand, causing him to look up, meeting Silas' gaze. This is where Zander hesitated, it was written all over his face. He felt that he was a bit stung by his words... not really expecting them at all. Brown and blue eyes looked away, as he considered everything that was told to him. There was a part of him that told him to just back out now... that there was only going to be problems. Silas was very up front about this, before they dived any deeper into whatever this was... he still wanted Zander to know about this.

"Silas..I.." he began running a hand through his hair, forcing his gaze back on Silas' face. There was a sigh, before a small smile crossed his features. "I'm not asking you to fucking marry me. But..." another pause as he collected his thoughts, "its none of my business with whatever is happening between you and... him. Like.. i'm not thrilled.." his features soften, the hesitation slipping away as he focused on his actual fucking answer. "I.. do want to be here for you. I still want to see where this goes." he stated, sincerely. In all honesty a part of him didn't know why he was agreeing to this... knowing the baggage and terms that came along with it. But he knew what Silas was going through, from an outsiders perspective... as well as personal experience.

"My only terms to this though." he began his voice all serious, " Is you get to be the female counterpart of this thing we will have," he finished at first trying to be and remain completely serious, but he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. The more he thought about it, the less it was his business in regards to Silas and... his former lover. He was sure this was wrong on so many levels... but he didn't care. What he hated to see was, what he saw at the bar when they first met. Like the prying fuck he was, he wanted to be there for him, and do what he can to fix, or help mend -- knowing full well what road this could take him on.

[Zephyr]

In all honesty, Silas isn’t sure what he’s expecting from Zander. What Silas told him is kind of a big deal. It isn’t exactly a good idea to get involved with someone who’s hopelessly in love with someone else. Silas is a selfish fool for even asking this of Zander, he probably should just get up and leave, but he finds himself stuck where he is, searching the other wolf’s face with hard to read green-brown eyes, and he finds that he isn’t honestly expecting Zander to be okay with this. The surgeon is fully expecting the other man to back out now, tell him to leave, or tell him that he never wants to see him again.

So when Zander speaks, Silas is left staring at him, a little dumbstruck.

He’s okay with it?

Well, obviously not okay. No one could be completely okay with news like this. But he’s okay enough to still give this a shot. Silas stares for a second, a little conflicted, even with this weight lifted off of his shoulders. Zander shouldn’t be okay with this…he shouldn’t be okay with allowing him to be okay. Guilt and relief battle for dominance in his head, but instead of seeing which one wins, he just smiles at the other wolf, the upwards curve of his lips subtle, but undeniably present. “Good. I’m glad.” It’s probably one of the worst things he could have said, and he knows he should probably say more, but he honestly can’t think of more past the awkward pounding of his own heart.

He’s expecting some terms that he can never fulfill, something pertaining to Matthias and abstaining from certain extra-curricular activities. What he gets, however, is absurd enough that Silas cracks a wider smile, the laugh leaving his chest, a trembling, relieved thing. It’s an exhalation of all the emotions that he’s feeling. When he actually takes a second to sit back and process the words though, he snorts, rolls his eyes and his grin shrinks into a smirk.

“Fuck you.” Silas growls with an amused tilt of his head, visibly relieved by the other wolf’s agreement and appreciating the humor he throws into the situation. The doctor doesn’t stop to think that Zander might actually be serious about his ‘terms’, because it just doesn’t matter right now. The teasing and bitching comes as natural as breathing to Silas…as does the good-natured snort. “I’m no fucking girl.” Then, in an impulsive move of pure impishness, the wolf leans very close to Zander, face slotting with the other man’s, lips centimeters from his ears as he whispers in a low voice without actually touching him. “I’m really looking forward to showing you that first hand.” Comes the low rumble of his voice, growly and husky...specifically meant to tease.

Before Zander can react, Silas pulls away with a laugh, pressing his lips to the corner of Zander’s mouth in an almost chaste parting kiss before he pulls away, gripping the controller between his hands and snorting.

Relieved and at ease, Silas presses his back up against Zander, one leg up on the couch as he starts up another game. “I’ll show you a goddamn girl.” Comes his growl, even though he’s completely comfortable for the first time since he’d shown up.